They Call Me Mad Dog: A Novel for Bitter, Lonely People

What do you do when love goes wrong? If you're Tomato Rodriguez, the reigning queen of motorcycle-riding, bicoastal bisexuals, you do every wrong thing there is to do. When Tomato's lover, Hooter Mujer, falls off the fidelity wagon, our biker babe starts by dialing 1-800-REVENGE, performs a kinky little kidnapping, and ends up getting a GO TO JAIL/GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL card while trying to apologize for her bad behavior. Welcome to the life and times of Tomato "Mad Dog" Rodriguez! You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll cringe. What started out as low-rent revenge complete with whipped cream, Bic ballpoints, and a two-by-four, turns into a murder charge. Before Tomato knows what's happening, she's locked away in the Big House with all the rest of the bad, bad, bad girls, hoping Ilsa the Wicked Warden will think she's too crazy to be convicted on a murder charge.